The fur is flyin'

[Sackem90]

Over at the fishwrapper board, the Filthy fans have invaded and have been throwing barbs. One of the Panther posters over there posted a reply to a Filthy fan about the stereotypes down here. I thought that his reply was funny:

<<So when we mention the Civil War, the KKK, NASCAR, trailer parks, Joe Dirt, mullets, lynchings, miles and miles of bland tract housing and big-box stip malls, poor education and even poorer hygiene, hillbillies, and moonshine, don't get angry -- you've heard it all 100 times before anyway, as we have all the stereotypes that exist about our own city and region. >>
After reading this thread, I thought I would sit back and respond to some of the things I took exception to....

In regards to the Civil War... Lee, and in particular Virginia, surrendered... Everyone else simply fell back to regroup... The second wave is coming...

As for the KKK... This is an organization that is dear to us all, however several years ago Krispy Kreme Korp legally dropped the third K and began to branch out, to include the invading northern states... Eat up, Yanks.... In reality, the doughnuts are laced...... You're children can no longer reproduce...

NASCAR, also known as Non-Athletic Sportsmen Centered Around Rednecks, is a front for the Southern SS... Germany used the blitzkreig as a means of lightening fast invasion... Well..... We're faster... AND we're recruiting Yanks that already know the terrain... Just ask Colonel Jeff Gordon, who consequently has set his sights on a northern lass for his second wife... Basically, if we can't burn you out, we'll breed you out...

Trailer parks..... This one is easy... When the war does resume, it'll be easier to move the troops...

Joe Dirt... What can I say.... He did get the hot chic... And his taste in gas pedals was just awesome...

Mullets... What can I say, it worked for Joe...

Lynchings... I've heard of this, but never actually participated in one... I'll try to put it simple to cut down on confusion... See, every 4 years the Dark Empire, who we shall refer to as Democrats, tries to steal the jobs of decent, hard-working, God fearing, red-blooded Americans, that we'll call Republicans... This act is called lynching... Thankfully, it is rarely successful...

Miles and miles of bland tract housing... They are barracks...

Big-box stip malls... Where else can one go to visit City Hall, have dinner, take in a movie and drive home in a new car towing a new Ranger bass boat? I'm pretty sure Joe invented these, but don't quote me on that one...

Poor education... Finally I get the chance to point out the deficiencies of those illeterate heathens at Duke... And have you ever been seen by a Wake Forest doctor??? What an adventure that was... And those UNC lawyers should stick to their blunts and beer bongs...

Even poorer hygiene.... Finally I get to voice my main concern of Raleigh's Jamie Lee Pressley... What a dog!!!

Hillbillies... They moved to Beverly... Hills, that is...

And finally...

Moonshine... Let's face it... Is there another liquid that gets your whites THAT white, doesn't fade colors, cleans grout and gets you hammered all at the same time??? God gave us moonshine for a reason....

I hope this clarifies any Southern customs, traditions or culture that you may have previously misunderstood...

 

[Ssstern]

:applause:

 

[kshead]

Now I thought THAT was good stuff there. Laughed pretty hard.

 

[chipshot]

First time I've read that board in probably almost 2 years. It's alot tamer than the usual crowd was last time I read it.

 

[LarryD]

First time I've read that board in probably almost 2 years. It's alot tamer than the usual crowd was last time I read it.

i still haven't been back since i left.

all my needs are met here.

by the way, if anyone sees any worth posters out there, invite them here.

thanks.

 

[The Brain]

all my needs are met here.

=Pron