Panther Joke

[Foxman]

It's not the best, not the funniest, but I am sure I can stir the pot in a igglets forum with it.

"John Madden was in Dallas to announce a football game

one weekend when he noticed a special telephone near

the Cowboys bench. He asked Quincy Carter what it was

used for and was told it was a hotline to God. John

asked if he could use it. Quincy told him, "Sure, but

it will cost you $100." John scratched his head, then

thought, what the heck, I could use some help picking

games. He pulled out his wallet and paid $100. John`s

picks were perfect that week.


The next week John was in St Louis when he noticed

that same kind of phone on the Rams bench. He asked

what the telephone was for and Marc Bulger told him,

"It`s a hotline to God. If you want to use it, it will

cost you $500." Recalling last week, John pulled out

his wallet and made the call. John`s picks were

perfect again that week.


The next weekend John was in Charlotte at Ericcson

Stadium when he noticed the same kind of telephone by

the Panthers bench. He asked Jake Delhomme, "Is that

the hotline to God?" Jake said, "Yes, and if you want

to use it, it will cost you 35 cents."


John looked incredulously at Jake and said, "Wait a

second, I just paid $100 in Dallas and $500 in St

Louis to use the same phone to God! Why do the

Panthers only charge 35 cents?"


Jake looked at John and replied, "In the Carolinas,

it`s a local call."

 

[Clay]

not the best, not the funniest, but certainly the oldest

 

[y2b]

not the best, not the funniest, but certainly the oldest

oldest? only the third time I heard it







:laugher:

 

[klgeorge13]

Mc Nabb and Staley were driving down the road on day in urban Pa. All of a sudden Staley yells, "Donovan, pull over, pull over!". Mc Nabb pulls to the shoulder, and Duce jumps out and runs into a nearby field. In the field a sheep has gotten its head stuck in the fence, and Duce proceeds to mount it. Looking over his shoulder Duce says "Don, man you gotta come try this its great!!!". So Mc Nabb jumps out of the car, runs over to the fence, and sticks his head in too!

 

[klgeorge13]

>Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first
>person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers,
>"241." "That's wonderful!!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand
>Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have so
>much to discuss!" Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What
>is your IQ?" To which the woman answers, "144." "That is great!!"
>responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have
>much
>to discuss!" Albert goes to yet another person and asks, "What is your
>IQ?" to which the man answers, "51." Albert responds, "How about those
>Eagles?".

 

[klgeorge13]

The boy came running home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy, " he yelled, "we were counting today,
and all the other kids could only count to four but I
counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said his mother.

"Is it because I'm a Eagles fan, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're a Eagles fan."

The next day the boy came running home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," he yelled, "we were saying the
alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say
it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f,
g!"

"Very good," said his mother.

"Is it because I'm a Eagles fan, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're a Eagles fan."

The next day the boy came running home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class
today, and when we showered, none of the other boys
had this, but I did!" And he dropped his pants to
expose his pubic hair.

"Very good," said his embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm a Eagles fan, mommy?"

"No sweetheart, it's because you're 25."

 

[klgeorge13]

Andy Reid was talking to his wife about redecorating
their home. In the first room she said she would like a
pale blue. Andy wrote this down and went to the window,
opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"

In the second room she told Andy she would like it painted
in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the
window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

Andy's wife was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In
the third room she said she would like it painted a warm
rose color. Andy wrote this down, walked to the window,
opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

Andy's wife then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling
'green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have some of the players
laying sod across the street.

 

[klgeorge13]

TWO TIGERS
Two tigers were stalking through the jungle looking for the evenings meal.


Upon stalking the rear tiger sticks its tounge out and licks the ass of the first tiger.

The first tiger flips around slaps the second and asks,

"What the hell are you doing?"

The second tiger lays its head in shame and
apologizes.

The tigers then resume stalking. Upon stalking through awhile longer the second tiger again sticks its tounge out
and again licks the ass of the first tiger.

The first tiger flips out mad as hell and again asks the rear tiger

"What the hell do you think you are doing?"

The second replies in shame,

"Im sorry it wont happen again."

The first tiger believing the second resumes stalking.
A few minutes go by as the tigers begin their stalking patterns. Upon walking the rear tiger thinks for a moment and for the third time sticks its tounge out and licks the ass of the front tiger.

Before he even gets his tounge back in his mouth
the first tiger flips around and cuffs the tigers head in his mouth. He the asks for the last time,

"What the hell do you think you are doing licking my ass?"

The second tiger then gives this disgusted look and pleasingly tells the other
tiger,

"I just ate a Eagles fan and I am trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

 

[klgeorge13]

A Eagle fan and his dog walk into a bar and they each take a
seat at the bar to watch the Eagles game. The Eagles march down
the field and beat the other team badly.
As the final gun sounds, the dog jumps up, does a perfect
back flip and lands on the stool just as if he hadn't moved.
Next week the Eagles march down the field, and again beat the other team. Again the dog jumps up and does the back flip and
perfect landing. This time the bartender says, "Hey, that's
pretty amazing, what does the dog do if the Eagles win a NFC championship?" The Eagles fan sighed and said, "I don't know, I've
only had him for ten years!"

 

[PantherMills]

A guy asks his friend, "Have you seen the new Bills"?"
"What, the new $20 Bills?."
"No" the guy answered, "The Philadelphia Eagles."