Looking for some guy named "Phil"

[Shrapnel]

We hear you been wearing hip waders to River Dance lessons again and we're not going to tolerate it.

 

[The Brain]

this is a fight ya'll won't win... Phil is the Lord of the Dance even with hip waders on.

 

[Village Idiot]

We hear you been wearing hip waders to River Dance lessons again and we're not going to tolerate it.

now you've crossed the line. maybe you didnt know this, maybe you did, but i dont give a paupers damn either way. our buddy phil lost his lower legs in a tragic sausage grinding accident in the winter of '69. he almost lost the tip of his donger too! his DONGER!!!! his miraculous comeback has been nothing short of.............miraculous. but to make a long and boring story short and boring, phils wife glyniece tried to keep him quiet and outta her way by stuffing his stumps into an old pair of hip waders and tied phil up with bailing twine in the barn. it worked for about 10 days but one day as she was milking the bulls, here came old stumpy, i mean phil, waddling along in his new found appendages. it seems that she had placed him too close to the cows and they had shit all inside the hip waders and now the shit had dried into a rancid, adobe-esc prosthetic device (which has stood the test of time btw) in which phil had employed to its fullest of uses. dumbfounded, glyniece could only gaze in amazement giving phil ample time to impale her onto his sausage hook and hoist her onto the rafters in the meat locker. phil hit the town wide open and learned how to shag, to dance the charelston, the jitter-bug even, and had set his sites upon the vaunted river dance. but you, you carl should be ashamed. even the sonovabitch that you are have stooped to new lows of.................stooping to new lows. i hate you.

 

[Shrapnel]

Listen, I scouted Phil. Pre-hip waders, he could do 75 clicks of his heels and 58 tippy-toes per minute. Now, his times are down to 63 and 49. He's become a long-strider and that won't cut it in the dance world.

 

[chipshot]

Phil is no Lou

 

[magnus]

Listen, I scouted Phil. Pre-hip waders, he could do 75 clicks of his heels and 58 tippy-toes per minute. Now, his times are down to 63 and 49. He's become a long-strider and that won't cut it in the dance world.

and that's without taking into account his small hands