I need a joke

law1ng2b2

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The past two weeks there have been some football jokes posted here. For good luck, i have emailed these jokes (thanks pantherfanz and sackem) to a group of friends that are mostly panther fans. they now expect another joke this week to continue the winning streak, but i am having no luck finding one that i like.

anyone want to help a guy out here? post your jokes here...doesn't matter if they are specific to a team other than the panthers...i can change the team(s) to suit my need.

thanks in advance.
 
Coach Andy Reid had put together the perfect team for the Philadelphia Eagles. The only thing that was missing was a QB to replace McNabb. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY! Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Reid said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Eagles go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Philadelphia!"
 
PantherFanz said:
Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Philadelphia!"
Ever notice how all the best jokes mention rape?
 
Thanks guys. i put both of them in the email for good measure. all my friends now have their supersticious itch scratched now.
 
Why do pigeons fly upside down over the Linc?
















Because there's nothing worth shitting on.

Yeah I know that sucked.
 

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