Carolina Pantherisms

[SilverSurfer]

Q: What do you call 53 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Carolina Panthers.

Q: How do you keep a Carolina Panther out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Where do you go in Charlotte in case of a tornado?
A: Bank of America Stadium - they never have a touchdown there.

Q: What do you call a Carolina Panther with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: Why doesn't Raleigh have a professional football team?
A: Because then Charlotte would want one.

Q: What's the difference between the Carolina Panthers & a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Carolina Panthers and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: How many Carolina Panthers does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.

Q: What do the Carolina Panthers and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.

 

[QC REPRESENT]

those jokes are old as Moses' toes and twice as corny too.

 

[The Brain]

welcome back AGAIN snotz

 

[Parker]

A guy walks into a bar with a dog. The Bartender yells, "You can't bring dogs into this bar!"

"But this is a special dog. He's he biggest Panther fan in all Charlotte. Our cable went out and we can't watch the game. You gotta let him stay."

"Well," says the bartender, "OK, but just keep him out of trouble."

As they sit down the Panthers scored a field goal. The dog jumps on to the bar and puts two paws in the air for signal. He dances and barks much to the crowds surprise and amusement.

"Wow! That's great. He is the biggest panther fan around here!" exclaimed the bartender. "What does he do when they score a touchdown?"

The young man thinks and replies, "I don't know, I've only had him since August."

 

[y2b]

A guy walks into a bar with a dog. The Bartender yells, "You can't bring dogs into this bar!"

"But this is a special dog. He's he biggest Panther fan in all Charlotte. Our cable went out and we can't watch the game. You gotta let him stay."

"Well," says the bartender, "OK, but just keep him out of trouble."

As they sit down the Panthers scored a field goal. The dog jumps on to the bar and puts two paws in the air for signal. He dances and barks much to the crowds surprise and amusement.

"Wow! That's great. He is the biggest panther fan around here!" exclaimed the bartender. "What does he do when they score a touchdown?"

The young man thinks and replies, "I don't know, I've only had him since August."

I lost a dog that use to do that back in July...

For a touchdown he runs up to the closest person, starts humping their leg, then faints... I guess it means he can't fucking believe it.

 

[Art Vandelay]

CHARLOTTE, NC (AP) - A seven-year-old Charlotte, North Carolina boy was at the center of a Mecklenburg County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare re officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Carolina Panthers, whom the boy firmly elieves are not capable of beating anyone.