True Record, 2013

It's kind of like that True Age shit that selfish baby boomers subscribe to, except in this one you're not bullshitting yourself.



Week One
Panthers 7
Seahawks 12

Frustrating finish, but when you fumble you don't deserve to win.

True Result: Loss
True Record: 0-1


Week Two
Panthers 23
Bills 24

If only Riverboat Ron showed up a week earlier. Nice prevent defense at the end too.

True Result: Loss
True Record: 0-2


Week Three
Panthers 38
Giants 0

Yeah, we were the bull this time.

True Result: Win
True Record: 1-2


Week Five
Panthers 6
Cardinals 22

Closer than the final indicated, but I'd argue that neither team deserved to win. Certainly not us.

True Result: Loss
True Record: 1-3


Week Six
Panthers 35
Vikings 10

I told you motherfuckers we'd kick their ass.

True Result: Win
True Result: 2-3


Week Seven
Panthers 30
Rams 15

More competitive than the final indicates, but a solid win.

True Result: Win
True Record: 3-3



Week Eight
Panthers 31
Buccs 13

The hazmat suit costumes were hilarious.

True Result: Win
True Record: 4-3


Week Nine
Panthers 34
Falcons 10

Another one that was close for a while.

True Result: Win
True Record: 5-3



Week Ten
Panthers 10
49ers 9

They'll always bitch about not having Crabtree, but we earned this one. Overcame shitty officiating.

True Result: Win
True Record: 6-3



Week Eleven
Panthers 24
Patriots 20

I think we all know how that would have ended had they not picked up the flag.

True Result: Loss
True Record: 6-4


Week Twelve
Panthers 20
Dolphins 16

Again, dumb fucking luck here. If yet another flag on Kuechly doesn't get picked up, and if that ridiculous fluke play to LaFell to set up a FG at the end of half doesn't happen, we probably lose by two touchdowns.

True Result: Loss
True Record: 6-5



Week Thirteen
Panthers 27
Buccs 6

I think this might have gone differently had Glennon not thown an empty hand and had we not had yet another flag picked up. I'll give us this one though.

True Result: Win
True Record: 7-5


Week Fourteen
Panthers 13
Saints 31

Sometimes you're just the cuckold.

True Result: Loss
True Record: 7-6


Week Fifteen
Panthers 30
Jets 20

Thank god for Jason Williams and Richard Rodgers. Still think we would have held on, barely.

True Result: Win
True Record: 8-6



Week Sixteen
Panthers 17
Saints 13

A legitimate, clutch-ass win.

True Result: Win
True Record: 9-6



Week Seventeen
Panthers 21
Falcons 20

A late Christmas gift from their center and Matty Ice.


True Result: Loss
True Record: 9-7

 

Funny, but our true record in 2012 was 9-7 as well....

 

The quickest way to do this is to assign a .500 record for games decided by less than 7 points, in which case the Panthers would have won 10.5 games in 2013, which sounds about right. That defense was awesome. Unfortunately it's incredibly hard to maintain that level of greatness, so while I expect the defense to remain top 10 it will probably fall a bit, which means the offense needs to compensate when it sure looks like it will be worse than last season.

 

You are what you are.

 

You're treading dangerously close to the "it is what it is" loser attitude bullshit that asshole John Fox buried the team in.

 

Will someone let us off the hook?

 

Got to agree to 10.x wins. A couple of the losses were horribly unlucky same as some wins could be called lucky, the Gronk flag just gets a tie, yada yada.

Anyone hoping for 7-9 won't have long to wait, and we can go back to saying 3 or 4 plays would have had us at 10-6.

 

Interesting...

that makes them a 5-11 team in 2001

and they really were a 2-14 team in 2010.

 

The 2010 team was clearly the worst Panthers team of all time. Certainly the most unwatchable.


2010 made me nostalgic over 2001.