Thomas Davis' Dogs

I'm glad you people find dog attacks funny...not so funny for kids that's been attacked. It's horrific.

 

A man wanted an attack dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest,meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a large dog. He was snarling loudly and biting and clawing at the cage."

He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said the buyer."

Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have something better in mind for you."

They continued walking around the premises, and after a while they found an even larger,meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire on his cage."

Ah," said the buyer.

"This must be the dog you were referring to earlier."


"Well, no." said the owner.

"I have something better in mind for you."

The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a fairly large dog that was lying quietly on his side, licking his butt. He did not seem to notice as the men approached."

This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the owner.The buyer was flabbergasted.

"You're joking!" he exclaimed."

This dog seems quite tame; he doesn't act at all like an attack dog at all. Hell, he's just lying there, licking his butt!""I know, I know," said the owner.

"But you see, he just ate a lawyer, and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."

















































A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"

"No."

A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.

"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.

"That's not my dog."






A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg. He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.

A passerby who'd seen everything remarked, "That's very tolerant of you after what he just did."

"Not really," came the reply. "I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts."





















A man was watering is lawn one day when he looked and coming up the street was two hearse's followed by a man, his dog and a single file line of about 200 men. The guy watering his lawn thought this was rather odd and decided to ask the first guy (with the dog) what was going on.
The guy said "That's my wife in the first hearse, my dog bit her and she died".
The guy watering the lawn said, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that, what about the second hearse?".
The other guy said "Well that's my mother-in-law, my dog also bit her and she died."
The guy with the lawn thinks for a minute and says, "Can I borrow your dog?".
The guy with the dog responds, "Back of the line!".
















Upon entering a small country store, a stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside a harmless old hound dog was asleep on the floor besides the cash register.

He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The amused stranger inquired, "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

The owner responded, "Because, before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."














A dog saw somebody putting money into a parking meter and reported to the other dogs, "They're putting in pay toilets!"

 

Let me try this again:

News like this should make us all PAWS for a moment to think about how we would handle this situation.

 

Those dogs aren't scary. My dogs ride around on the backs of sharks and shoot angry bees out of their mouths.

Don't ask what they shoot out of the other end if you want to sleep at night.

 

Thomas Davis had an English Bulldog when he went to college at UGA. His name was Munson (named after long time UGA announcer Larry Munson) I wonder if he still has that dog. He was awesome, and you'd always see them together around campus.

 

We had one, he died about 6 months after my son was born. English bulldogs KICK ASS, but the get gobber over everything and they can clear a room with one hissssss of the ass.

 

So? I can clear the whole house and make a JRT gag.

 

You should get that checked out...the terrorist might be interested in your methods.

 

I think 3/4 of UGA student/alumni pets are named Munson.

 

Not enough.