Interesting cuckold scenarios for 2013

I won't even mention the Jets because there's just all sorts of cuck going on up there. I'm afraid I might lose my damn mind if I delve into that.

Besides them, I think there are some intriguing potential cuckold situations brewing across the league, including:



- Joe Philbin is only in his second year as Dolphins head coach, but pressure to win will be significant after the team had an expensive offseason. Unfortunately, they still got Ryan Tannehill, so I fully expect another mediocre season in South Florida. Could owner Stephen Ross revert back to his slutty ways and start courting a "big name" coach while another is still on the job? I have a feeling he'll be throwing pebbles at Bill Cowher's bedroom window by early December, and making a cuckold of his coach once again. Poor Joe never had a chance.




- Denver has mile high expectations in 2013, but with that comes the potential for mile high cuckoldry. The offense should still be elite, but Von Miller will be gone for nearly half the season and Elvis Dumervil is now a Raven. Who will rush the passer? The Broncos might be forced to score 35 points a game, otherwise their Super Bowl aspirations could dissolve like a broken marriage. Could John Fox be fired if this team misses the playoffs? I think it's possible. And a cuckold with a nice watch is still a cuckold.




- The fervor over RGIII's status for week one and overshadowed something more important - The Redskins are almost certainly in line to get cucked this year, in earnest. The division has gotten better and Washington, being blue balled in free agency by the NFL (and in the draft via the RGIII trade), did almost nothing to improve upon their lightning-in-a-bottle 2012 season. Remember, they lost to Ron Rivera - at home. Drifting back to 8-8 or 7-9 seems like a natural step, especially after the crash and burn playoff loss to Seattle. There's been an uproar about the team needing to change it's name. May I suggest The Cuckolds?





- Leslie Frazier seems like a good man, and his cuckolding of Brad Childress three years ago is something that I still admire him for. But after watching them in preseason acting, I get the feeling that the cuckolder will become the cuckoldee in 2013. The Vikings have a talented football team, but they won't realize that potential with Christian Ponder as their quarterback. Their only alternative is Matt Cassel. Either way, you're cucked. It's a shame they didn't try to find real competition there, but since we play them I guess I can't be too upset. And I love a great cuckold situation. Sorry Leslie.




- And there's us. I picked us to win 9 games and grab a wildcard, and if that actually happens I'll be happier than canes finding a pack of dildos and a Bryan Adams poster in his mailbox. Realistically, I think this will be similar to the past two seasons. Lots of frustrating, cuckold finishes. Do I trust our corners in two minute situations? Not really, and neither should you. 3 and out for Rivera, which feels about right. Hopefully Gettleman hammers out the O-line next offseason and we hire a good coach. The future isn't lost. But this is a cuckold year, more than likely. Grin and bear it.

 

A couple to consider Cuckmaster:

Tampa Bay Cuckaneers- Josh Freemans potential cucking by Glennon, Hes not Schianos guy and likely to be on a short leash. Any coach that would blitz on a kneel down surely would have a penchant for cuckoldery.

Not that anyone outside Oakland cares but it appears that Matt Flynn will be a week one cuckold for the Raiders as Terrell Pryor gives it the old cuck and suck.

 

Freeman isn't in any danger of losing his job this year, but that's certainly something to watch next offseason.

 

Two for two....

And maybe canes should check his mailbox

 

In other cuckhold news, Jay Cuckler watches "Tears of" McCown from the sidelines....Mike Vick cucked by Foles....Filben gets dirty sanchezed by Chico