Cookie rules

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has
no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test
and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it
also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie
calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas
cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend.
Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, rule #1 is yours
also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the
friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall
to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to
gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas
cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess
frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red
ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each
letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street " have
no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not
part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contai n no calories because the
process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no
calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and
will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories
because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's
a rule!

 

Works for me.

Also, cookies--or any other foods--consumed while watching or listening to anything that makes you cry lose calories with every tear you shed. Cry more, eat more

 

One question though, why are my jeans getting tight?

 

Eat what you want in decent proportions and work off more (I like to walk at a good pace) when you eat too much

 

They probably just shrunk in the wash.