Carolina Panthers charged with drive-by shooting

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Panthers charged with drive-by shooting


The issue of the high amount of felons playing in the NFL has just reached a boiling point as the Carolina Panthers football team has been charged with a drive-by shooting in a local suburb this past week. A one Jasper Jackson was walking to his mailbox in his robe and slippers when the Panther's team bus pulled alongside of him. A eruption of fire poured out of the bus windows, riddling Mr. Jackson's body with 274 bullets. The bus then quickly sped away to training camp where the team was getting ready for the 2004 season. The authorities are still not completely sure what triggered the violent outburst, but they have received tips that Jackson was wearing Tennessee Titan colors at a popular gang hangout. The NFL has reacted swiftly, suspending 10 players and fining the others $15k each. The judge appointed to the trial dismissed the case on grounds of lack of evidence, despite the fact that the kicker for the team filmed the crime. The judge was overhead saying "Look, the last thing I need to do is piss off a bunch of monstrous criminal millionaires. Besides, this year I think we really got a chance at taking it all the way." Jackson is survived by a couple stank hos and a pitbull.

 

STU..............PID!