Hands

Why wouldn't you love it? It's great to announce to the world that Panthers fans are a bunch of dumb rednecks who can't tell the difference between "Caroline" and "Carolina" while being so soulless and vapid that we blatantly copy another professional sports team in doing so.

 

I guess it's classical conditioning. The playing of the song is associated with winning. That's why we love it. The song itself fucking sucks, but if they played a William Hung song while we were kneeling out a playoff victory, I'd fucking love that too. If they played an audio track of my mother begging for mercy while somebody killed her, I would eventually grow to love that as well.




Last fall, when the Panthers had won like 50 straight games or whatever, I was grocery shopping and it was playing there, and I started humming to it. Some kid looked at me like I was a fucking queer, but I didn't care. It just feels good to hear it. I deserved to hum like a queer to a gay fucking song after suffering through Jimmy Clausen. So fuck it.

 

Btw, John Fox is still the only coach to win a game with Jimmy Clausen.

 

It's a terrible song that has nothing to do with the team or this region and was already associated with the Boston Red Sox. I fucking hate the Red Sox, so that's why it annoys me so much.

 

I heard that Mike Smith named his wife's vagina Caroline. Seems like an appropriate song to me.

 

I'm very sorry to hear about this. I hope they play a different song from now on.